Every girl dreams of a stable and harmonious relationship. "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" - ask the lonely representatives of the fair sex. Psychologists name the objective reasons for this situation, identify the types of guys, give advice on how to behave with them under various circumstances.
Why I don't have a boyfriend - reasons
If the question arises, why I don't have a boyfriend, then the answer must be sought in various psychological factors associated with the inability to communicate, with the choice of the wrong guys or in too high demands on the future young man.
- Unrequited love.
The state of falling in love with a guy who does not reciprocate takes a girl's heart. This feeling gives rise to unrealizable dreams, building plans for the future and "castles in the air." This state leads to the fact that the girl does not notice anyone around, she lives only by thoughts about her ideal, so it is very difficult for someone else to achieve her location.
Psychologists advise that if a guy does not reciprocate, there is no need to "get hung up" on him, but it is worth looking around, often love is nearby.
- Inability to communicate.
Shyness, confusion in communication is one of the reasons why I do not have a boyfriend, you and her. Communicative emancipation occurs when there are common topics for conversation, in order to achieve this, it is worth reading more books, understanding current news, knowing good jokes.
- Meeting the wrong guys.
Every girl is initially set for a long-term relationship, but not all guys want the same. Confident, relaxed, active, attractive guys easily make new acquaintances and also break up easily.
Often they have not a single broken girl's heart in their arsenal. Modest and responsible guys often remain in the "shadow". One of the reasons for the problem "why don't I have a boyfriend" may be unwillingness to meet guys who at first glance seem boring and uninteresting. Not everyone will be able to open up at the first meeting.
- It's important to be feminine.
Femininity is the girl's main weapon, which no guy can resist. Some girls try to be friends with guys, they speak with them in their language. Friendship with a guy can only be at the initial stage of a relationship. It is never too late to apply women's tricks and tricks. Guys don't fall in love with friends.
- Unbearable character.
A girl may really like a guy outwardly, be attractive and seductive for him, but at the same time moody, irritable and rude. And it can be off-putting. Traits such as excessive obsession and excessive care and control are unacceptable. Experts advise to find the line that will allow you to build harmonious relationships. In communication, try to be natural, affectionate, caring, but independent and proud.
- Excessive requirements.
Many girls waste time looking for the ideal that lives in their dreams. There are no perfect guys.Each person has their own advantages and disadvantages. Only a real feeling allows you to appreciate the first and not notice the second.
- Shyness
It is impossible to attract attention to yourself without sufficient self-confidence. Low self-esteem leads to excessive timidity. A confident look, naturalness, openness in behavior, cheerful character and mind - all this will not go unnoticed.
How to find a guy: types of guys
All guys can be divided into the following types:
- Egotist
He doesn't pay much attention to the girl's desires and feelings. He promises to write or call at the appointed time and does not call back. The reasons may be different: forgot, once. When expressing dissatisfaction, there is a threat to run into rudeness. As a result, the girl's self-esteem falls, she loses faith in herself and her attractiveness.
- Aggressor
At the beginning of the relationship, the aggressors are "masked" by gallant and helpful behavior until the girl falls in love and becomes addicted to the relationship. Then rude treatment is allowed, sometimes with assault. At the first signs of aggressive behavior on the part of a guy, you need to run "without looking back".
- Critic
He constantly doesn't like something: makeup, clothes, friends, figure. You can never please that guy. He will always criticize. Psychologists advise not to lose self-esteem in any situation and no one should be allowed to underestimate their self-esteem. The girl needs to understand that it's not about herself, but about his attitude towards her.
- "Womanizer"
Many guys love variety and new experiences. They flit from one young lady to another. There can be two options for such behavior: they have not yet met the only one, or simply "womanizers". Psychologists call this "intimophobia". Guys with this diagnosis are intimidated by a long-term relationship with a girl.
- Dependent
There is a pronounced tendency to abuse alcoholic beverages, drugs. In the youth environment, this can be positioned as informality or progressiveness. For a girl, when meeting such a guy, there is a reason to think about whether she can put up with this and whether it is worth continuing the relationship.
How to meet a guy
- Need to relax... Let go of thoughts of acquaintance, and the meeting will happen by itself.
- Try to flirt. Imagine yourself irresistible, walk down the street and smile at the guys you meet. This can not only give confidence, but also increase the chance of dating.
- Do not hesitate to ask for help and advice from strangers on the street or in the store.
- Seem weak... Do not hesitate to ask for help to open a stuck umbrella on the street, help navigate on ice, etc. There is a possibility of exchanging phone numbers.
- Acquaintance in social networks... The most popular method today, however, is unpredictable. Lack of emotional and visual contact complicates the dating process. Alternatively, you can try. It's still better than suffering: why does everyone have, but I don't have a boyfriend?
- Fitness club visit... Going in for sports, you can get the perfect figure and at the same time meet a handsome athletic guy. Stylish shape, good mood and a charming smile will increase the chances of getting to know each other.
- Use originality and extreme: present a balloon to a stranger on the street. Who can resist this and not ask, in turn, for a phone number?
- Expand communication. Do not spend evenings at the computer or with a book alone, but meet with friends, visit discos, cafes, nightclubs. This will cheer you up and make new acquaintances who can later become friends. And, as you know, everything starts with friendship.
- Get rid of complexes. Guys are often more shy than girls and are afraid to be the first to come up and talk, even if they really like the girl. It is not difficult to say “hello” first and smile, but a new acquaintance has begun.
How to please a guy?
This simple question worries many young girls. Psychologists give some tips to help you attract attention and understand the reason "why I still don't have a boyfriend?"
Analyze these factors and make changes in your life to change the situation:
- First of all, you need to be constantly in the field of vision of the object of adoration. It is necessary to find out the places where he likes to be and to appear there "by chance", preferably in the company of mutual acquaintances and ask them to introduce you to each other.
- Collect useful information about him: who he is friends with, what he enjoys, what girls he likes.
- On your page in social networks, add him as a friend and write in your status - in search of a serious relationship. Photos should be of good quality, clothes that are not defiant, but not too strict, makeup is not flashy, but emphasizing the dignity of appearance.
- Demonstration of your abilities on your page. You can ask mutual acquaintances to create an unobtrusive advertisement about a culinary ability or an unusual hobby.
- The guy is already interested, it's time to move on to action. If, due to his shyness, he cannot be the first to make contact, it remains to act on his own, to be active. It can be a smile at a meeting, a gaze, a comment on his page in contact. At this stage, the main thing is not to overdo it, these actions will be enough for now. He will have to wait for him to make a reciprocal step.
How do you know if a guy likes you?
Psychologists pay attention to several proven signs of sympathy on the part of a young guy for a girl:
- Periodically casts an awkward, shy look. In the presence of the girl she likes, she is noticeably embarrassed and blushes.
- Tries to touch with a word, make me laugh.
- Arranges "surveillance" in social networks. Sends emoticons, messages, likes posts, photos.
- In the company he tries to attract attention with loud conversations, jokes, stories.
- Invites you to meet. It could be a movie trip or a mutual friend's birthday party.
- Increasingly, he makes compliments and not only about his appearance. He begins to trust more, tells his secrets, shares his innermost thoughts.
- He tries to accidentally touch, take a hand, hug.
How to make a guy fall in love with you
What attracts guys to girls? Consider the main criteria that are primarily paid attention to:
- Attractive appearance. By "clothes they meet". If a girl doesn't care about her appearance, she has little chance of being liked by a guy.
- Carelessness and naturalness in communication.
- Live a fulfilling life. Constantly develop, learn something new, have a favorite job. This will allow you to live an interesting life and not get hung up on the question: "Why don't I have a boyfriend?"
- Ability to speak openly and sincerely about your feelings and emotions. Gratitude and appreciation in the eyes of a girl can make a man's heart tremble. It gives guys great pleasure to know that his girlfriend is happy with him. This makes him feel like a hero.
What if you like a guy?
- Act like a guerrilla. First, collect as much information as possible about him. Everything is subject to study: clothing style, interests, hobbies, social circle, etc. There can be no trifles in this matter.
- Casting the bait. It's good if the guy you like is your classmate, colleague, neighbor, or you visit one sports section together. Then you can simply ask for help or support.
- All in. You can start your acquaintance first. It can be an SMS, a call, or just come up and confess your feelings directly. But in this case, you need to be prepared to refuse. You can write a letter by hand. Now it is a great rarity.
- The image is a magnet. Contact has been established. The guy began to persistently show interest and signs of attention, you should pay attention to your appearance. Manicure, pedicure, well-groomed hair, alluring eyes, “tasty” scent of perfume. Change jeans and sneakers to dresses and skirts.
If a guy ignores what to do?
The reasons for ignoring can be different. Psychologists offer some advice. First you need to analyze your behavior, maybe something began to not suit him in a relationship. The young man decided to step back for a while and think.
You should not call and try to find out why he is avoiding meetings. If the guy does not want to make contact, you should leave him alone and go about his daily activities. You need to let him be alone for a few days or spend with friends.
If the girl is dear to him, then he will try to restore the relationship. Every relationship has periods of alienation and uncertainty. If the pause is somewhat delayed, then you can go to a frank conversation and find out what does not suit you.
If a guy decides to end the relationship, then life does not end. As the saying goes, you can't be cute. You need to be able to let go and give the other person the right to choose.
What to talk to a guy about
If this is the beginning of a relationship, then topics for conversation may be to clarify the interests of each other. For example, what films do you like, what genre, what books, where would you like to go to relax. You can talk about the attitude to personal life as he sees it, but only in general terms, without reference to specific people and past events in his life.
What nice words to say to a guy
Guys need support and approval no less than girls. One of the reasons a girl doesn't have a boyfriend may be her inability to speak the right words.
Top 10 phrases that will melt the coldest heart:
- You are the best! He will feel deservedly appreciated.
- I want you to be always there! This will allow you to think that it is needed and necessary.
- You are my hero! Every guy at heart wants to be superman.
- I feel you so! This phrase will favorably emphasize the main advantages of every woman: softness and sensitivity.
- You are so sexy! The guy may not have a Schwarzenegger figure, but the fact that he is the sexiest and most desirable for a beloved girl will undoubtedly overwhelm him with positive emotions and a desire to prove it.
- I love you! This is certainly a traditional phrase, but nevertheless, everyone wants to love and be loved. But it only works when it sounds genuine.
Declaration of love as it should be
Everyone chooses a method at their own discretion. We offer several options for a suitable recognition of your feelings.
- You can write a note and pass it through someone. But this option is suitable for those who are not worried that a declaration of love will become the property of the masses.
- Write a message by phone. Three cherished words. If a guy is not indifferent, then he will definitely reciprocate. If the reaction is unpredictable, then you can refer to your confusion and say that the SMS was intended for another person.
- Send a cute picture. If the feeling is mutual, then the answer will not be long in coming.
- You can confess your love when you meet. Accidentally drop the phrase "I love you!" If reciprocity does not follow, and there is a slight bewilderment on the face of the interlocutor, then we can say that she was joking, and this is just a rehearsal to check the reaction.
Poems for a guy: how to write a confession
If you really love, it is difficult to admit your feelings directly. There is a great opportunity to write a confession in verse. If feelings are mutual, then this impulse will be appreciated. You can write poems yourself or choose suitable ones from a poetry collection.
What to give a boyfriend for his birthday
Birthday gifts are chosen for each person based on his needs, taking into account his personal preferences. It can be:
- Emotions and impressions. Gift in the form of entertainment: bowling, flying on the aerotube, jumping on a trampoline, gym or pool membership.
- New experience and the opportunity to acquire knowledge.It can be a master class depending on the interests of the guy: extreme or horse riding lessons, acting or boxing.
- Romance. Offer an unforgettable romantic candlelit dinner with good wine, a role-play or a walk on the rooftops of the city at night (such excursions are practiced in St. Petersburg). It will be unexpected and will cause not only excitement, but also a storm of exciting emotions.
Some people prefer to give practical and useful things:
- For those who love nature and hiking - a tent or thermal underwear;
- Athlete - fitness bracelet;
- For a coffee lover - an exclusive coffee maker or a Turk with a pack of expensive exquisite coffee;
- Fisherman - spinning;
- For the photographer - a professional camera.
In fact, it doesn't matter what the gift is, the main thing is, as historian Thomas Fuller said "A gift presented with a smile is doubly valuable."
DIY gift for a guy. Original gift
The best gift is one that is made with your own hands, because everyone understands that it took time and a piece of soul to create it.
Top 10 DIY gifts:
- Sweet gift: homemade cake or original cookies.
- An album with photos of a love story and small stories to them will preserve romance for many years.
- Coffee mug. You can take an ordinary mug and paste over it with coffee beans, then varnish it.
- Painting, painted or made by hand.
- From an old toy - a new stand for a mobile phone.
- Place love notes in balloons and let the guy pop them and receive pleasant words from his beloved.
- Master the patchwork technique and invent an original postcard.
How to kiss a guy
In the art of kissing, it's not how you do it, but who you do it with. How to make your first kiss unforgettable? First of all, the lips should be smelly and tender. This requires constant lip care. Before a date, you need to thoroughly brush your teeth so that there is no bad breath.
When kissing, pay attention to hand movements. This can be touching the face, stroking the back, neck.
The main thing when you first kiss is to create a romantic atmosphere. It should be a secluded place where no one will interfere. A cozy atmosphere, dim lights and candles will add solemnity and mystery to an intimate moment.
How to behave with a guy: advice from psychologists
Why don't I have a boyfriend? Often, girls turn to a psychologist with this question.
Family relations therapists provide some simple but effective guidelines:
- You gotta be natural and be yourself. Pretense or stiffness from the fear of doing something wrong can alienate the guy. Do not try to be like someone, keep your individuality.
- You don't have to hold back your emotions... Constantly controlling your feelings, for fear of looking stupid, runs the risk of appearing boring and uninteresting. But the violent manifestation of their feelings is also inappropriate. The “golden mean” rule is the key to harmonious relationships.
- Be able to sincerely smile and enjoy life. Thank you for your attention and gifts.
- Self-confidence increases self-esteem. Therefore, you need to keep a low profile, but confident.
- Do not allow in your presence, use non-normative vocabulary, drink alcoholic beverages, and make dirty jokes in your address.
- Don't try to educate a guy if something in him does not correspond to ideas. You need to change yourself and then the person who is next to you will change.
- Do not exhibit masculine traits and behavior... More femininity and gentleness in communication.
Helpful video tips and answers
This video will tell you about the reasons why a girl does not have a boyfriend:
This video will show why the girl does not have a boyfriend: