Platonic relationships. How is it, what are these feelings between a man and a woman. Tests

One of the varieties of spiritual attachment known since ancient times is platonic relationships.

Transforming over many centuries, in the modern world, such an interconnection of heterosexual people of different sexes has gradually developed into a rare friendship. between man and womanallowing partners to provide each other with moral, moral and material support, not supported by mutual (or one-sided) sexual attraction.

Founder of the theory of platonic relations

A platonic relationship is a spiritual attachment of 2 (or more) people, based on the desire to cognize another person's inner world similar to their own, without the presence of inter-sex attraction in the relationship.

The founder of the theory of Platonic love, the ancient Greek philosopher Plato first designated the term "Platonic love" in his work "Feast" justifying it by the fact that it is common for people endowed with reason to have:

• Bodily relationshipsassociated with the desire to satisfy their sexual needs and craving for procreation.
• Spiritual relationship, representing the most noble interaction of intelligent people who strive with all their souls to be near the object of adoration.

According to Plato, spiritual relationships, possible only between mature people who know how to control their feelings and emotions, are the main way of knowing the true happiness of human communication. It is the presence of souls that are able to recognize freshness in a person that distinguishes people from representatives of the animal world, who strive to enter only into bodily contacts.

Platonic love in Plato is an immaculate relationship that can give a person true happiness. Such love is the “highest good” bestowed on people.

Among examples of the highest, ideal love, the philosopher singled out:

• love to motherland;
• parental love;
• reverence by children of father and mother.

The deification of Laura by F. Petrarch is a classic example of platonic relations. For the poet, this woman was not only a muse, but also an unattainable deity, an earthly angel, whom he never tired of admiring at a distance, but with whom he did not dare to speak in reality.

What does it mean, causes and symptoms

A platonic relationship is a strong relationship between people, based on spiritual closeness, not supported by the desire to make sexual contact.

The reasons that awaken the emergence of platonic love in the modern world of universal sexual liberation include:

• Religious beliefs. The Islamic religion clearly prohibits any sexual intercourse before marriage. Platonic love in this case is often a way of manifesting a nascent feeling for a future life partner or dreams of an unattainable, but very attractive person.
• Celibacy. Voluntary refusal of any physical contact forces people to limit themselves to spiritual interaction.
• Health problems. Platonic relationships can be observed in couples where one or both partners, for physiological reasons, cannot have full sexual contact, but are very close to each other spiritually. Love here is built on psychological, moral and spiritual support that spouses invariably provide for each other.
• Love for an idol. The worship of an idealized person, which is most often found in adolescence, is played by a famous movie star, singer, teacher, or an older person.
• Fear of ruining your previous relationship. One of the most common reasons that provoke people to hide their romantic feelings from the object of desire is the fear of ruining long-formed friendships with an untimely confession or an unsuccessful romance.

In the modern world, platonic relationships are considered synonymous with friendship between same-sex or opposite-sex individuals.

For the most part, platonic feelings appear between a heterosexual man and a woman at the first stage of the development of relationships and, subsequently, developing, are reborn into a deep love affection, which contains, among other things, sexual contacts.

The absence of sexual attraction or the impossibility of its manifestation, for any reason, leads to the formation and strengthening of inter-sex platonic friendship based on the mutual support that partners give each other, common views and interests.

The benefits and duration of a platonic relationship

A platonic relationship is a widespread, long-standing emotional attachment of 2 people, based on a community of interests and a desire to communicate.

The advantages of this type of interaction include:

• A strong foundation that makes it impossible to instantly lose a partner, which can often be observed when a love affair occurs.
• The opportunity to better know a specific person or the peculiarities of building a way of thinking of the opposite sex for a more successful, in the future, building a romantic relationship with another person who has a similar way of thinking.
• Lack of jealousy and doubts about the nature of the partner's feelings.
• The constant presence of a loved one nearby, able to give the necessary advice and provide support.

Platonic relationships in their pure form are considered to be a fairly strong and long-term structure that exists by mutual desire and based on the community of interests of partners. The lifespan of such an interaction depends only on the desire of the people who formed it.

Such relationships are much stronger than friendship, love, affection. In some cases, platonic love may not be mutual, being expressed unilaterally, which is absolutely uncharacteristic for friendship and other forms of romantic relationships.

There are many cases when platonic feelings were the harbingers of true mutual love and were present at the initial, most unstable, stage of intersexual relationships in heterosexual partners.

A man and a woman who are in a platonic relationship, in the presence of mutual sympathy, in 90% of cases, transfer their relationship to a new stage. Mutual attraction to each other, which does not meet serious obstacles in its path, over time develops into a deeper romantic affection, bringing recent friends to a common bed.

According to statistics, long-term spiritual attachment between healthy, heterosexual representatives of different genders can last a long enough time only if:

• if partners are connected in love, family relationships with another person;
• are under the rule of religious, cultural beliefs, or their life is subject to strict moral norms adopted in society;
• are not sexually attracted to each other.

Platonic love of a man and a woman

Platonic relationships are, for the most part, a transitional period for heterosexual partners, helping a man and a woman to get to know each other better during communication and in the presence of mutual sympathy, transforming into a strong love affection.

Platonic relationships can remain unchanged for a long time only if they represent one of the options for interaction that does not imply further development of spiritual communication. In the modern world, these types of platonic relationships include:

Unrequited love

A common form of falling in love in adolescence, which is characterized by the presence of 2 sides:

• active - showing her feelings through any actions;
• passive - not having a mutual interest in the active side, or generally not knowing about its existence.

The role of an active structure is often played by adolescents aged 12 to 18 years old, in love with famous movie stars, singers, teachers, young people who do not reciprocate. This form is characterized by the idealization of the idol, attributing qualities unusual to him and the creation of a kind of "altar of worship".

Unrequited teenagers in love join fan clubs, try to attend events and concerts of their ideal in the hope of catching the eye of an adored person, constantly guard the object of love.

There is such a passion for no more than 2-4 years and passes after a more suitable, accessible partner appears in the child's life.

At an older age, unrequited love is much less common and, as a rule, is observed in people who have problems with interpersonal communication and a variety of different complexes that allow them to consider themselves unworthy of the object of adoration. Such feelings can last for a long time and lead to serious psychological trauma that requires the help of a specialist.

Long distance relationships

Forced love relationships, in which people in love, for whatever reason, exist separately from each other. During the period of meetings and when obstacles are removed, such relationships instantly develop into a full-fledged love relationship, with an obligatory sexual component.

The development of modern technologies allows such relationships to exist for a long time, allowing lovers to communicate on Skype, Viber, through social networks during the periods between meetings.

Relationships between older people

It is often observed in older couples who previously had regular sexual contacts, but are forced to stop them due to health problems.

Spiritual unity among such spouses is considered ideal, since it is built on:

• community of interests;
• mutual psychological, moral support;
• the presence of common children, grandchildren;
• well-formed life;
• the need to resolve issues regarding the disposal of jointly acquired property.

Platonic relationships can also arise between single older people of different sexes. With age, the desire for physical intimacy fades into the background, giving priority to spiritual communication and community of views and interests.

Spiritual closeness

A type of mutual communication characteristic of deeply religious people. Voluntary refusal from physiological contacts makes the study of the soul of a loved one paramount. Such partners are characterized by the presence of the same worldview, common views and interests.

In the absence of a religious basis, this type of interaction can arise between like-minded men and women in the form of a friendly bond.

Platonic relationships between members of the same sex are a classic owl version of strong, centuries-old friendship.With the help of spiritual closeness, women strive to satisfy their desire to communicate and discuss pressing problems, and men show respect for each other, realizing the detail in male participation and support.

How to maintain a platonic relationship

Platonic relationships can last for a long time, because, unlike romantic feelings, they are not characterized by the appearance of jealousy or doubt in a partner.

The guarantee of the longevity of spiritual interaction based on a common worldview, interests between representatives of different sexes consists in observing certain rules of conduct:

• Friends need to be prepared for sexual attraction between them. Heterosexual individuals tend to show interest in members of the opposite sex, especially if they are linked by a commonality of views and interests.
• When entering a platonic relationship, clear boundaries should be established. A man and a woman must be sure to agree that they are only friends to each other and that any sexual connotation in their relationship (even if there is a limited opportunity) is prohibited.
• Partners should trust each other as much as possible. The foundation of a strong spiritual bond is confidence in your decision. A man and a woman need to completely isolate themselves from public opinion, which asserts the impossibility of the existence of real friendship between individuals of different sexes, and always support a partner.
• Focus on the benefits of existing relationships. Platonic feelings, unlike romantic relationships, are protected from various kinds of doubts about loyalty and prejudices, which allows them to be much more durable than any other attachment.
• Friends of different sexes should explain to their loved ones (especially "second halves") the nature of the relationship. Talking to your spouse on time will help you avoid any mistrust and jealousy. It will also not be superfluous to set boundaries and not provoke family members by meetings at inopportune hours, strange nights and frequent meetings in private.
• You can't give in to dreams. Despite the fact that according to statistics, spiritual intimacy is most often a transitional moment, foreshadowing a long, romantic relationship, men, and especially women, should clearly realize that a friend of the opposite sex should remain only a friend, despite the fact that, suppressed for a long time, sexual desire can cause unnecessary thoughts about transferring the platonic connection to a new dimension.

Dangers of a platonic relationship between a man and a woman:

• Despite the established boundaries, the emergence of one-sided romantic attachment in most cases cannot be prevented. In the event of falling in love on the part of one of the partners, it is possible that the spiritual connection may be reborn into love affection (if the second partner answers with consent) or the occurrence of mental pain (in case of refusal). In any case, the platonic relationship in its previous form will cease to exist, and friendship will no longer be able to revive.
• In case of impossibility of the transformation of spiritual attachment into a romantic relationship (due to the busyness of a partner) to opposite-sex friends, one should not discuss love experiences or matrimonial plans, confining themselves to communication on topics not related to love relationships.

The relationship between man and woman

You can determine the nature of the relationship between a man and a woman using several tests.

One of the most popular is the ancient list of questions, which makes it possible to characterize the relationship depending on the answers received. According to this study, there are 7 different types of interaction, each of which has certain characteristics.

Answering the question, you need to put a "+" sign if you agree with the statement and a "-" sign, if not:

• Parting with a partner will be a real tragedy for me.
• The foundation of a relationship is strong friendship.
• In a relationship, the main thing is to maintain your independence.
• Strong relationships are built only between compatible people.
• Sex is the key to a long-term relationship.
• The spouses are primarily the parents of their children.
• Love is built on physical attraction.
• Any serious relationship is an unnecessary responsibility.
• If you love a person, then you must forgive betrayal and patiently wait for a partner, since any distance is not an obstacle to real feelings.
• My other half is as dear to me as my brothers and sisters.
• You have to fight for your love.
• For the sake of a loved one, you can sacrifice your interests, property and life.
• Divorce is an extreme measure, which should be well prepared, and if necessary, postponed until a more suitable time (transfer to another job, the children reaching adulthood).
• The best spouses grow out of friends.
• True love must be allowed to mature.
• Love experiences are irresistible from real feelings.
• For my partner, I am just a convenient option, he does not appreciate or love me.
• In relationships, you always need to be prudent and take a sober view of things.
• Love is a lottery. Everyone wants to hit the jackpot here, spending as little money as possible.
• The choice of a partner should be made consciously.
• Lovers should give in and listen to their partner.
• Reason always obeys love.

Test results:

Determination of the nature of the relationship is carried out depending on the number of positive answers received to specific questions.

Attitude test: Friendship between partners or love.

Test results:

In the modern world, the term "platonic relationship" is used most often when characterizing a sudden irresponsible youthful sympathy or in attempts to explain the platonic intimacy between a man and a woman, strange for the era of sexual liberation.

The concept itself is much deeper and is based on the possibility of partners receiving pleasure from communication, as well as the desire to hope for the necessary moral or moral support from a person who is close in spirit.

Relationship Development Videos

Stages of relationship development: